From Our RHK Executive Director: Remember Why

This past month all staff, board members, and volunteers have been reading, “Worth Seeing” by Amy L. Williams. The book discusses the importance of viewing others through God’s eyes. Too often we try to force others into the mold we think a person should fit. This book also challenges us to remember our “why”. Why did we start our journey at RHK? It challenges us to remember we are a part of the story of the kids we mentor, not the main character. The kids are the stars of their own story. We are not their saviors, Jesus is. (I am paraphrasing the author. She does a much better job!)

When you mentor someone, you lose a part of your heart. You become vested in them, their lives. But you must be careful not to take over.

I don’t watch the news anymore - my heart can’t take it. My heart breaks when I see another one of my kids on the news. Or, if I see a kid in the age range of my kids who was shot, I will search to see if it is one of ours. Sometimes it would be. Let me tell you about a couple of those kids I heard about on the news.

I have written in the past about some of our kids who made some very big mistakes. Well, recently I was able to visit a few of them in juvie and be there when they went to court. Seeing them walk into the courtroom in shackles does something to me every time. Some people look at them as criminals while I see them as:

• The kid who was goofy at RHK.

• The kid who would come in hungry.

• The kid who would sit in the front seat of the van and ask to hand an extra food bag to a homeless person on the street corner.

• The kid who escorted another teen out of RHK because they disrespected me.

• The small child who asked me to sit down and color the hands of Jesus with them.

I would ask myself what we could have done better. Did we miss something? But after speaking with them, I have a new perspective. Being where they are now might be the best place for them. One of them is in a discipleship program. He is in his Bible every day. He is leaning on Christ. Memorizing scripture. When he calls me, he is excited to tell me what he is learning and recite his latest memory verse. Would I have liked this to happen on the other side of the bars? For sure! But if this is the way the Lord had to reach him, who am I to say differently.

The same goes with my guy who is in juvie. I hadn’t been able to see him for a couple of years. When I was invited to go by another organization, I jumped at the opportunity. He didn’t know I was coming. When he saw me in the room, we went over to each other and just hugged each other tightly. He told me he was just thinking about me the other day. I reminded him how much I loved him and how much Jesus loved him. During group time, I listened to him talk and I heard him speak wisdom. Wisdom I am not so sure he would have had if he did not have to spend those hard times on the inside - quiet times reflecting on what he had done, what he could have done differently. He, too, chooses to come to group to share and hear about Jesus each week. Something he was not doing when he was outside of juvie.

People ask if the work at RHK really makes a difference. There are days I wonder myself. I want to see instant results. But, that is not the way God works. When I sit and look back over the years, I can say “Yes, we are making a difference.”

The next question they ask is “Why do you keep doing it?” Sometimes I laugh because I have the same conversation with my husband and say, “How did we get here?” The real reason is twofold. First, there are people who did not give up on me in my youth when I made some bad choices. If they had, I don’t know where I would be today. Second, above all, I know a man by the name of Jesus who never gave up on me even while going to the cross. How can I give up on someone because they made a bad choice when all I have been called to do is love them and mentor them.

As I started this newsletter I spoke about the book we are reading. In the book, she quoted the pledge of a mentor from an unknown author:

“I will listen to you with my heart as well as my ears.

I will use the benefit of my experience to guide you.

I will challenge you to find your talents.

I will help you recognize opportunity

I will find the best in you.

I will not judge you.

I will not lie to you or for you.

I will not do it for you.

I will not accept less than your best efforts.

I will not accept excuses.

I will not give up on you.

I will always pray for you.

I will be someone you can count on.

I will walk life with you.”

And she added:

“I will always remind you that you are loved and created by God for a purpose!”

Remember, we all have a purpose. Some of our journeys are just a bit wiggly.

Blessings,

Dee Lacny, Executive Director, Rock House Kids